It’s taken me a while to get in the Christmas spirit this year. 500+ days in limbo as a non-British EEA citizen. The orange guy. It’s just been hard to feel sparkly. But of course, sparkly or not, DD has a long schedule of events where she’s performing, and last night was one of them.
In true DD style, she announces a few short hours before the event that it would be nice if I was there. So there I was. Watching her sing and read a poem in a church which has stood since 1445 was something else. Dear reader, you will be so proud to note I did not cry, as is my tradition.
I just sat, and listened, as she read Mick Gowar’s Christmas Thank-Yous to laughter and applause. (Google it: English humour at its best.) I felt like a ‘normal’ parent. No overwhelming rush of desperate gratitude that she’s alive, functioning, talking. Just a normal amount of pride and affection. It’s the best gift ever. To finally have the stone of guilt and relief lifted off my chest.
It’s taken almost 12 years, and I’m sure I’ll have small moments of back-sliding when she gets ill, but for now, I’m all about the joy!