I can relate to ALL of these!
The last time I cleared my mind I found a button, a peanut shell and a big tumbleweed.
Don’t irk me. I’ll dance naked under a full moon, strewing beautiful wildflower seeds all over your perfectly manicured lawn.
Doing all those hours of cardio every week and still getting winded climbing one flight of stairs is why I have trust issues.
It’s not so much the heat, as it is the stupidity.
I don’t have Mood Swings; I have Mood Quakes.
Whatever the phobia is where you fear being on a plane without a decent book. I have that.
Behind every true friendship there is an automatic unwritten confidentiality agreement.
All of my liquid assets are bottles of wine.