If you’re a parent, or are good friends with one, you’ll quite probably agree with the fact that NOTHING, and I mean, NOTHING, prepares you for parenthood. And even if you have more than one, I’m going to wager a fiver they’re nothing alike, so all the rules you learn with one go out the window with the second. Or so my friends tell me.
Husband Dear was probably less clued up than I was in certain areas, and his ‘education’ was almost a constant source of mirth and merriment for me. Like the time DD had a crazy fever and was pitching a febrile fit. We rushed up to the emergency room, because, with her history, everything was always touch and go. They placed us in a triage area, each bed partitioned by a curtain.
Nurse: OK, we have to bring her fever down. The quickest way to do that is to administer the medicine up the back passage.
Husband: (pokes head out of curtain and looks down the hallway) What’s wrong with right here?
Nurse (rolls eyes, looks at me for support): Up the back passage….you know…
Nurse (exasperated): Up her bottom!
Husband (horrified): Why didn’t you just say that? You can do that?!
The icing on the cake was DD’s little monkey face when she realised something was going up rather than coming down! EXCUSE-ME-do-I-know-you-have-we-been-introduced-what-ARE-you-doing? I have never seen a five-month-old look so disgruntled in all my life. I don’t think my hooting laughter helped.
Any amusing emergency room stories? Any weird discoveries you made as a first-time parent?