My regular readers can’t have missed the fact that I’m raising a tween. Most days, she’s pretty darn awesome. Some days she’s your average budding hormonal pre-teen. Every day with her is entertaining, and I can safely say I’ve done more personal questioning and growing in the last nine years than I did in all the years before I became her mother.
One of the agreements my husband and I made early on was that we were always going to be open and as honest as we could be. We were not going to shy away from the tricky topics (like sex). I read Maria’s article, 10 Easy Ways to Talk with Your Daughter about Sex, when DD was about three, and I thought, “Yes! We’re doing this.”
So we’ve had free and frank talks over the years, giving her facts and separating the fiction. Well, I’ve done most of the talks – Husband Dear has been conveniently absent from the trickier ones. We also got her Girl to Girl: Real Questions and Honest Answers about Growing Up
Nothing could have prepared me for this conversation, though….
DD: Hey, Ma, when did you plan to get pregnant?
Me: Well, you’re living proof the Pill doesn’t always work, even when you follow the directions.
DD: So you were just having sex for fun?
Me: uhhhhhh……….
DD: Sex strikes me as a sweaty sort of activity, it just doesn’t seem like something you’d do for fun.
Me:…..uh……yeah……
DD: 1 – Me: 0
And by the time I had gathered my wits, she was on to the next topic. The saints preserve me!
If you’re laughing, I highly recommend ‘OMG, Where’s Her Penis?‘ by the awesome E. Feel free to share your parenting sex-talk woes in the comments, or leave links to other entertaining posts! I need to know I’m not alone in this…
Hahaha, I’m dying here! And thanks for the link.
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DONCHA JUST LOVE IT!
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So in the NL, kids get sex ed starting at age 10 (group 7 / year 6). But aside from that, just take a walk through Amsterdam and you’ll be amazed at the questions thrown at you – from lollipops in various “shapes” to condoms in all different colors … the questions just come at you from all directions!! I’m raising a tween too – a boy… I wish you luck!!!
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Oh something tells me you’re facing a far more interesting challenge. I’d be sweating trying to maintain my patina of ‘cool parent’ in Amsterdam.
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I don’t think my parents ever sat me down for a talk, they just answered questions as I had them. There’s an American Girl book called The Care and Keeping of You that is EXCELLENT. It’s more about body changes than sex but basically every girl I knew had it and loved it. It covers bras, periods, body image, sleep, nutrition, acne, etc. in a way that is positive.
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It’s on my list now. We’ve tried to keep the lines of communication open and not squirmy. (It’s a word now, is squirmy).
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I think squirmy has always been a word! It’s funny, it was something I asked questions about until I was 13, and then only became an issue when I felt it was unfair that I couldn’t have boys upstairs/in my room and had to defend that idea. (I convinced them, btw.) Senior year of high school I started rather seriously dating a guy, and my mom reminded me that the offer still stood to ask questions about sex. Didn’t take her up on it, but it was nice to hear a reminder that it was an open floor.
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Um, I totally thought sex sounded gross as a tween. Of course, I thought French kissing sounded gross until I was a teenager!
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I feel for you. The first time I told one of my kids about sex, I was asked if I enjoy having it with Daddy. Not what I was expecting.
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