Re-Adjusting Focus

Yesterday, I wrote about meeting potential after-school carers/nannies, and throwing my worries to the wind (or putting my trust in the Lord, if we go with ma-in-law). Today, it’s back to the drawing board. So what went wrong?

Weeeeellllll…..the first candidate was OK: pleasant, educated, not the most fluent English speaker, but seemed competent. I ranked her a 15/20. The second gave me serious cause for concern. She seemed tired, confused and I had to repeat myself every second sentence. Also, she had a very wet, limp handshake. One of my pet peeves is a wet, limp handshake. Shudder. If the option was her or nothing, well, as I told husband on Skype, let’s just say I’d trust DD on her own.

Instead of this experience truly throwing me, and sending me into a panic spiral, I was just annoyed that they didn’t work out. Breton Bestie and the neighbour have reminded me they can help in a pinch. My old assistant who’s in between jobs has agreed to cover all next week, and another nanny emailed this morning, asking if I still needed help. So maybe this whole ‘worries to the wind’ thing works! I wrote about the compounded effect of a thousand small adjustments and corrections, and the power of small wins and slow gains in a PTSD-recovery post in February. Today, I feel like I’m reaping the benefits of CBT: I think I’ve finally had a ‘normal’ reaction to a setback.

Disclaimer: I still wanted to resort to baking this morning (I went up 4 sizes due to PTSD-related baking after DD was born), but I opted to make one batch of aubergine dip and one batch of chicken liver pate to nourish, rather than numb, myself. Tomorrow, I will experiment with a gooey, gluten-free chocolate something, ready for the #FoodPornThursdays link-up. 

How are you doing? Have you made any small adjustments which have resulted in huge gains? How do you get yourself out of a panic spiral?

13 thoughts on “Re-Adjusting Focus

  1. Amy says:

    Good job Vanessa! I remember the whole childcare thing as being the hardest part of being a working mother. I had some not so desirable daycare situations and fortunately my daughters lived through it and don’t hold it against me.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. joeyfullystated says:

    Good luck with your continued search, sounds like you have a great support system.
    I bake when I’m happy. I clean when I’m stressed.
    A good, hard sleep takes my panic down a notch, but it’s easier to walk around outside 🙂
    I think my recent adjustment was the move to Scrivener.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Donna says:

    Hope the nanny think gets resolved soon but you seem to be plugging along fine. I first think eat eat eat when stressed but if I can I go for a walk instead if that isn’t possible I try to visualize being on a warm beach somewhere. If all else fails yup I eat…but I have been doing well with picking fruit instead of chocolate or baked goods (my downfalls)

    Liked by 1 person

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