“But enough about me, let’s talk about you. What do you think of me?”
— Bette Midler as CC Bloom in Beaches, 1988
I’ve been blogging for 10.5 weeks. 74 days, baby! Yeah! Petal & Mortar is my new favourite place to be, but I’m still not sure if I love my theme. Let’s just call it a work in progress. I don’t know if it’s ‘me’. I worry that my organisation into categories and pages is bordering on the anal/compulsive (too much me!). I’ll work on that, too. No, maybe not. I like organisation, dammit.
Blogging has given me such a great outlet, and a chance to craft a new persona. A hybrid public-private avatar. As an expat, I’m used to sharing my ‘creation’ story. I’ve honed it to a witty blurb (I’m terribly cosmopolitan in my head, with perfect eyebrows and nails). What no one tells you is that it becomes exhausting re-telling the story. You just want people around you who know the story. Who get the story. Who remember all the versions of ‘you’.
I’d say the ‘real me’ started developing about 21 years ago, when I left home to finish high school in the States, and grew my first solid friendships. Five years later, I was growing my clan in Iceland, and it was from this group of friends that I chose the legal guardian for my daughter, should both husband-person & I pop our clogs simultaneously. A. knows all the versions of ‘me’. She could tell baby girl my stories if I couldn’t.
But then this got me wondering about how people see me? How do my readers see me? What do I share that creates ‘me’ without the sound effect of my laughter (dirty chipmunk), the visual of my random dancing with jazz hands, the rapid gesticulation when I talk? There was a fleeting thought about a quick poll on SurveyMonkey (I said fleeting, I can corral the crazy!).
And then last night, I was helping my daughter out of the shower when she stilled my towelling, held my chin with her hand, looked deep into my eyes and apropos of nothing (I swear!) said, “You’re a nutjob, but you’re perfect.”
Hear that, world? I’m mad & I’m perfect. One or the other, one and the other. Perfectly nutty, that’s me.